Neighbor who never returns anything she borrows insists woman pay for her $85 groceries after running into her at the grocery store: ' I told her I could spot her $20 for essentials but couldn’t cover the whole bill'

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Jul 16, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

There's a fine line between a reasonable expectation and an unreasonable one. A favor is just that: doing a kind and helpful act for someone with little to no expectation for anything in return. It's not something you can simply demand of someone, let alone an acquaintance who you live in close proximity to. Sure, it's nice to be neighborly and look out for one another, fostering a sense of community, but someone expecting you to do so outside your own means is a step too far.

This 27-year-old neighbor had a habit of not returning things that she borrowed from the 24-year-old woman, who shared her experience with this online community. The two quickly became friendly, and over the six months that they have lived in the same apartment building, the neighbor borrowed quite a few items from her, either returning the borrowed items weeks later or sometimes not at all.

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  • 01

    "AITA for not covering my neighbor’s grocery bill after they repeatedly borrowed my stuff without returning it?"

    I (24F) live in an apartment building and have a neighbor, Kyah (27F), who's friendly but a bit careless. Over the past six months, Kyah's borrowed several things from me tools, a ladder, even my Wi-Fi password when her internet was down. I didn't mind at first, but she's terrible about returning stuff. My screwdriver set is still missing,
    via Wildthings501

  • When the woman ran into the neighbor at the grocery store checkout, the neighbor suddenly realized that she had ‘forgotten’ her wallet and asked the woman to pay.

    But, because of the previous experiences she had with the neighbor and the issues the neighbor displayed with reliability and following through on promises, the woman declined to pay for her groceries, which ended with accusations of being “unneighborly” being lobbed in her direction and worse being said behind her back afterward.

    So, who is in the wrong here? Is the woman wrong for refusing to pay for the groceries? It seems clear to me here that the ask was simply too great. I might have done this for a friend with an upstanding reputation for returning things and paying back money that was owed without having to be harassed for it. But this being a neighbor with a less-than-stellar reputation for reliability leaves you, the lender, wondering if you're ever going to see that money again.

    Besides, it's not like the neighbor was in that precarious of a situation; leaving your wallet behind is no catastrophic thing, and, while inconvenient, it's not that difficult to simply go home and grab your wallet or the necessary funds for your groceries

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10530863872
    via Natalia Blauth

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 03
    she kept my ladder for weeks until I asked for it back, and she used my Wi-Fi for a month without offering to chip in for the bill. Each time, I've been polite and let it slide, thinking she'd get better about it. Last weekend, I ran into Kyah at the grocery store. She was at the checkout with a cart full of stuff but realized she'd forgotten her wallet. She asked if I could cover her $85 bill, promising to pay me back that evening. I hesitated because of her track record with
    via Wildthings501
  • 04
    my stuff and because I'm on a tight budget myself. I told her I could spot her $20 for essentials but couldn't cover the whole bill, especially since it included things like expensive snacks and beer. She got frustrated, saying I was unneighborly and that she'd have done the same for me. She ended up leaving most of her items behind and only buying what she could with the cash she found in her pocket. Since then, Kyah's been giving me the cold shoulder,
    via Wildthings501
  • 05
    and another neighbor said Kyah called me stingy. I feel bad because I know forgetting a wallet is stressful, and maybe I could've helped more since we're neighbors. But I also feel like her pattern of borrowing without reciprocating made me wary. AITA for not covering her full grocery bill?
    via Wildthings501
  • 06
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the ah le: I believe I might be the a h le for not covering my neighbor Kyah's full $85 grocery bill when she forgot her wallet, offering only $20 for essentials. Kyah was visibly upset, and her calling me "unneighborly" made me think I might have been too strict, as
    via Wildthings501
  • 07
    forgetting a wallet is a common mistake. I could've been more helpful, especially since neighbors often support each other, even if her past borrowing habits made me hesitant.
    via Wildthings501
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    Cheezburger Image 10530864128
    via Natalia Blauth

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    Mediocre-Amoeba-8329 Since you are stingy, that means you no longer need to loan her things....
    via Wildthings501
  • 10
    Brilliant_Bus7419 NTA. She's giving you the cold shoulder? You say that like it's a bad thing.
    via Wildthings501
  • 11
    United-Manner20 NTA- change the WiFi password and let her go silent. You owe her nothing.
    via Wildthings501
  • 12
    StAlvis NTA She was at the checkout with a cart full of stuff but realized she'd forgotten her wallet. So she can tap her phone.
    via Wildthings501
  • 13
    Condensed_Sarcasm NTA. Your neighbor is a user and she'll keep walking all over you if you let her. Get all your stuff back and change your wi-fi password. Then stop 'helping' her. She's just going to drain you.
    via Wildthings501
  • 14
    Cal-Augustus Kyah's been giving you the cold shoulder?? She's not talking to you? Not even to borrow your stuff?? YAY!! You win!
    via Wildthings501
  • 15
    Ratchet_gurl24 Please secure your WiFi password. It's not community property.
    via Wildthings501

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neighbors neighborhood homeowner neighborhood-drama bad neighbors neighborhood-stories terrible neighbors Bad Neighbor neighbor
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